Realizations

Four weeks left in Tahoe City, CA until visit home.

Moving away is bitter sweet. You want out of whatever you are in but still miss everything (including drama) when you are away.

Missed my little brother's 21st birthday and it is killing me. There are tons of things you miss when you are not around.

The 4th of July is fastly approaching and plans have not been set with co-workers so... I will be hanging with my Tahoe Besties. (I.K. and K.P.) the only 2 local friends I have made so far.

Guys are really non-existent around here unless you want a ski bum they say.

I have not watched any TV since I have been in CA and it doesn't seem weird at all. Nature is so entertaining that I don't need to watch the boob tube... LOL

I miss my friends like crazy and even my nutty mother. California will be something that I will never forget.

Ill look back in 10 years and say wow that's crazy that I just up and moved away.

Only time will tell ....

Turn the lights on...

I just realized... 

I can't see my laptop screen without my glasses.. (yikes) 

Everyday I get a little stronger in dealing with my family and the people they are. 

Being in bed all day on occasion is a MUST! 

That I might be a lil over-emotional. 

I don't have to go to traditional church all the time to learn or to know that God loves me. 

That even though you know a person doesn't mean to hurt you, it doesn't make it any easier. 

Not having a schedule or exact time, being non-committal is actually relieving. 

And lastly, when a chapter of your life is about to end, it seems as if the rewind button is stuck on the past. No matter how much you try to not think about everything, its impossible. 

Random I know. But during this quarter-life crisis I call life, the light bulb comes on quite often. 

Letter to Brittany.....

Remembering  the good ole' days... 

Sharing a room with you and my brother. Fighting all the time. Playing dress up in our costumes. 

You chipping your tooth on the porch when we were in the playhouse. 

You were my biggest fan. Anything that I needed to use or wanted to look at, you would let me. 

We had a bond that most sister's keep forever. 

But somewhere we got lost and you replaced me.  

I wanted to be like you. Humble, talented, skinny, daddy's favorite girl. He was so proud to be your dad. 

Now I wait by the phone for your to call or text. I left you a note to let you know that nothing has changed on my end and I am here if you need me, but I haven't  heard anything for years now.

Not having you there is the saddest relationship I have lost to date. We were each other's back-up. No matter what we would stick together when we got in trouble. 

I don't know what happen to you.. but I miss it. 

If you find her please tell her I said that. 

double christmas

Christmas dinner at my house: Turkey, Ham, Mashed taters, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, broccoli casserole, mac and cheese, cranberry sauce, rolls, and six desserts. 

Christmas dinner at my mentors: Ham, broccoli casserole, potatoes, fruit salad, rolls, and one dessert. 

Needless to say this was a total culture shock for me this year yet different is good. 

As said in my previous post, I plan to do a "Theme" dinner every year with my family. So things will never be the same. 

Guest list: My immediate family, aunt, uncle, their 3 children, my other uncle and his 18 year preggo girlfriend (he's 32) 

Guest list at my mentors: Her immediate family, ma- ma, poppy, aunt, uncle, and their 2 kiddos. 

Now, note I do not have any grandparents so I suppose the lists would be equal. 

At my mentors we played games, and talked at the dinner table. 

At my mothers house we sat in  the living room on the floor, did not say grace, and laughed about fam members that were not there. 

My mentor had made the comment on more than one occasion that she would be very hurt if her children went to someone else house for Christmas dinner? 

I don't know if I agree with that? are you not able to spend some time with some family in which you truly care about .. blood related or not? 

We had already eaten at my mother's house and were just hanging out.. is it not OK to go chill somewhere else? 

This comparison is an observation of how 2 families can be totally different and have one thing in common ... yours truly. 

Mother May I ?...

Update on mi madre: 

We are doing well. Fam time was great. I haven't felt like an outcast for at least 2 weeks lol. 

Mom is planning on having a NYE party and wants me to help. (kinda excited) Being the party guru, this will be a breeze. 

Bro is getting worse. He is unhappy and offends me with his words and mannerisms. I hope for him that things get better in his world and he will be able to have peace soon. 

Sister is still stuck up in her own little world. 

Daddy is good minus being pissed off at me for flooding our 1.5 baths this weekend due to doing my laundry lol 

Great Times!